i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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