im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
