I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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