Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
