I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
