You can't motorboat a personality
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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