i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
try to milk me bitch
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