I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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