I'm going to jail i love you
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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