U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
