I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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