Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
