I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
