his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
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Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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