I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
