I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize