i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
