i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
