I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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