Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
