wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i will never coherently bang her
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
