Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
