you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize