anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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