he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
