can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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