Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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