You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
