Where did you get a picture of my penis
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
