Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize