She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
