I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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