So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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