garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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