don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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