glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
