Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize