What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize