in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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