I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
