There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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