Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
