office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
