Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
