I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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