If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
