girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
