found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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