Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
