So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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