my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
