Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
