Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize