Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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