I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The air was thick with penises
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
