I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
