Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
