Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
