Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
