grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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