I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
