Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
