Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
