girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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