I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize